again, my feeling is here. strong one. i just can't take it when i treat people sincerely and they always doubt about me. maybe i'm being too emotional, as one of my colleagues told me, when comes to work, don't talk about friend. does this mean that when we work we don't need to care about others? teach me to treat others bad. teach me... i'm not expecting any return when i treat you nice, but at least, care about my feeling. perhaps i put my hope high. no matter how, work is still back to work.
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again, the colleague once said, that's the reality. when people need you, they'll treat you nicely as you're an angel. so i should conclude that, when they don't, you'll be dumped. don't take me wrongly. i'm not a negative thinker. it is caused by the environment. in fact, it's the reality i should say.
when i've decided to tender, many things happen to stop me. mayb i shouldn't say it would stop me, but it made me feel bad because my boss treats me well. i know i'll be getting more responsibilities. but why now? why put such a high hope on me? that i'll be watching two departments? i really don't wish to have conflict but i should expect it when a department has two heads. even i don't have the intention, doesn't mean the other party doesn't. the management expect me to accept their new task. they just assumed that everything supposed to be like this, this made me feel bad. like i'm very bad, when they need me, i chose to leave. what should i do? how to protect myself? i just don't want to be treated as a doll. wherever needs me, i will be allocated there. i don't even have a chance to decide for myself? or i'm just too soft... they assumed i'm alright with whatever they planned.
i know all these can be avoided if i'm standing strong. i'm learning... i'm...
*Lv*
-hoping for a day without any clouds-
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